If you're hearing this message, I am probably not here. Or I am furiously pressing every button I can because I forgot how this thing works. One of the two! Either way, I will get back to you...eventually.
[No, he can't let their conversation end on this note. Even if they don't work out some proper boundaries for future mishaps, Manolo can't bear the thought of Joaquin being left alone with only his dark thoughts for company.]
Wait, hold on...[He pauses a moment, grasping for something to say.] This ability. You just see things, right? It doesn't...affect your other senses?
[Joaquin looks up, taken aback. But he's in no mood to start a fight or ask questions. Instead, he closes his right eye and covers his left with his hand.]
[After propping his guitar against the wall, he reaches out for Joaquin's free hand, encasing it between his own warm fingers.
Before the man can say anything about it, Manolo gently guides it toward his neck, and eases Joaquin's index and middle fingers against the soft hollow near his Adam's apple. He lets his pulse gently beat beneath his friend's touch, hoping that will somehow make a stronger statement than any words possibly could.]
Listen. [His voice is soft now.] Everyday I wake up with this reminder of how incredibly lucky I am to get not just two chances, but a third. Don't think for a second that I somehow take this for granted, or that I want to squander it on something meaningless. I don't.
[Joaquin isn't sure what's going to happen, but when Manolo takes his hand he feels at ease. He doesn't expect to have that hand pressed to Manolo's neck, but he gets it after a moment.
A heartbeat. A pulse. Alive.]
Manolo... [His own voice is soft, a little gruff from exhaustion.] I just worry... I'm afraid that, that something you do find meaningful will come along and make you do something reckless.
[Manolo grows quiet at that for a moment, because it's something he can't deny about himself. The snake, Chakal...and those were just the two things that actually did him in. He has a whole list of other misadventures that happened well before that fateful Day of the Dead.
But it's not like he thinks of himself as some sort of martyr, or feels like he needs to die in order to do something good for the world.]
...Some people are just worth the risk, amigo. [He lightly squeezes Joaquin's hand.] I think you believe that too.
[Manolo gazes back at him. Now that he knows just what Joaquin sees when he looks at his face, there's an added layer to his friend's words.]
I haven't sacrificed more than anyone else I know. [His mother died defending him and his father from bandits. His father died defending San Angel. His cousins laid down their lives for Zapita during the Revolution. A lot of the bullfighters in his family ended up dying in the ring because they believed it was important to carry on the family tradition.
There are countless others with similar stories. At the end of the day, Manolo is really no different, and he knows for a fact that Joaquin was just as willing to give up his life for the village during their fight against Chakal.]
[He pulls away and goes back into the bathroom to retrieve his eyepatch. Once he has it back in place he turns to face Manolo again.]
I know what you're saying and I get it. But while you're here why don't you just... enjoy what you have, okay? You're not registered and you have your guitar. Just... be the guitarista you always wanted to be.
[Manolo is a little relieved to see Joaquin with the eyepatch again, if only because he doesn't want his friend to be tormented with images he can't control.
He just wishes he could give Joaquin some actual relief without making promises he was sure to break sooner or later.]
I won't go looking for fights, if that's what you mean. [He gives a dry smile.] Believe it or not, I don't have a death wish. I'd much rather play music than get caught in a battlefield, but we're imPorts now, and sometimes those things are gonna overlap.
[But it was hopeless to say things like "I just want you to be alive and happy." Because Manolo was alive now so he didn't see any problems. And he was happy as long as he was doing what was right. Joaquin just wished he could be that reassured.]
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Date: 2015-10-23 11:20 pm (UTC)Wait, hold on...[He pauses a moment, grasping for something to say.] This ability. You just see things, right? It doesn't...affect your other senses?
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Date: 2015-10-23 11:29 pm (UTC)No, not that I've notice so far.
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Date: 2015-10-23 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-23 11:40 pm (UTC)Okay. Now what?
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Date: 2015-10-23 11:56 pm (UTC)Before the man can say anything about it, Manolo gently guides it toward his neck, and eases Joaquin's index and middle fingers against the soft hollow near his Adam's apple. He lets his pulse gently beat beneath his friend's touch, hoping that will somehow make a stronger statement than any words possibly could.]
Listen. [His voice is soft now.] Everyday I wake up with this reminder of how incredibly lucky I am to get not just two chances, but a third. Don't think for a second that I somehow take this for granted, or that I want to squander it on something meaningless. I don't.
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Date: 2015-10-24 12:05 am (UTC)A heartbeat. A pulse. Alive.]
Manolo... [His own voice is soft, a little gruff from exhaustion.] I just worry... I'm afraid that, that something you do find meaningful will come along and make you do something reckless.
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Date: 2015-10-24 12:40 am (UTC)But it's not like he thinks of himself as some sort of martyr, or feels like he needs to die in order to do something good for the world.]
...Some people are just worth the risk, amigo. [He lightly squeezes Joaquin's hand.] I think you believe that too.
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Date: 2015-10-24 01:17 am (UTC)[Joaquin lowers his hand, staring ahead with only his Eagle Eye. In the darkness all he can see is a boney frame.]
... Don't you think you've sacrificed enough, Manolo?
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Date: 2015-10-24 02:00 am (UTC)I haven't sacrificed more than anyone else I know. [His mother died defending him and his father from bandits. His father died defending San Angel. His cousins laid down their lives for Zapita during the Revolution. A lot of the bullfighters in his family ended up dying in the ring because they believed it was important to carry on the family tradition.
There are countless others with similar stories. At the end of the day, Manolo is really no different, and he knows for a fact that Joaquin was just as willing to give up his life for the village during their fight against Chakal.]
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Date: 2015-10-24 02:07 am (UTC)Fair enough. But I don't have to like it.
[He pulls away and goes back into the bathroom to retrieve his eyepatch. Once he has it back in place he turns to face Manolo again.]
I know what you're saying and I get it. But while you're here why don't you just... enjoy what you have, okay? You're not registered and you have your guitar. Just... be the guitarista you always wanted to be.
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Date: 2015-10-24 04:00 am (UTC)He just wishes he could give Joaquin some actual relief without making promises he was sure to break sooner or later.]
I won't go looking for fights, if that's what you mean. [He gives a dry smile.] Believe it or not, I don't have a death wish. I'd much rather play music than get caught in a battlefield, but we're imPorts now, and sometimes those things are gonna overlap.
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Date: 2015-10-24 04:08 am (UTC)[But it was hopeless to say things like "I just want you to be alive and happy." Because Manolo was alive now so he didn't see any problems. And he was happy as long as he was doing what was right. Joaquin just wished he could be that reassured.]
... I just need some sleep.
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Date: 2015-10-24 04:17 am (UTC)[He picks his guitar up and starts heading toward the door. Before he leaves, though, he turns toward Joaquin one more time.]
Good night, brother.
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Date: 2015-10-24 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-24 04:23 am (UTC)